Critic’s Corner

“You knew I’d write a book about you someday. You said once that I’d dredged up the whole hit parade minus you. I’ll never know how you’d tell it. For me it begins here. Like this.”

So opens Lily King’s magnificent sixth novel, Heart the Lover. A companion of sorts to her previous book, Writers and Lovers, it returns to the same protagonist, centering on her time in college. The story begins when she meets Sam and his best friend Yash — two intellectuals whose world she becomes swept up in. They bestow her with the Gatsby-inspired nickname “Jordan,” and her senior year quickly becomes a tangle of witty banter, literary discussions, and a raucous card game from which the title originates.

In their company, friendship deepens as do her own intellectual ambitions. Jordan begins a romantic relationship with Sam, but slowly realizes that Yash, in all his fervor and offhand charm, embodies the kind of love she desires. Around its halfway mark, the novel skips in time, cloaking the aftermath of Jordan and Yash’s ardent, volatile relationship. The last act, fixated on a few days decades later, is a culmination of all that has been unresolved and misunderstood. Jordan, who feels so shaped by these boys, finally realizes how central she herself has been to their lives and story. She is forced to reckon with not just her own grief, but the role she has played in the emotional ecosystem the three have constructed.

King’s prose is immersive without being showy. It has a kneading quality — pressing into a moment, folding it back, testing the tension. The familiar elements of a collegiate love story are present, but they are handled with restraint. Nothing is strained or exaggerated for effect. Even at its most conventional, the novel never feels manipulative. The emotional pitch rises naturally from the characters’ limitations: what they fail to say, what they fail to see. While the novel has every chance to fall into cliche, King’s sincerity steers it away from being saccharine or melodramatic. A skillful writer, King handles both the heavier themes and the sweeter moments of her novel with finesse. Heart the Lover stands as an artificially constructed meditation on how people inevitably shape our lives, and how we, perhaps unconsciously, shape theirs.

This article was first published in The Franklin Post.

Sing for the Sunnyside Shower Project!

Need an excuse to feel good about the world? (Who doesn’t?) If you get this newsletter before April 3rd, there’s still time to join Low Bar Chorale in their annual Jesus Christ Superstar singalong! This event, their biggest of the year, will be held at Polaris Hall in North Portland (635 N Killingsworth Court.) As Low Bar wrote on their flyer, “Join us for an evening of skronky guitars, money notes, and pop-up harmony in the mother superior of all rock operas. Will you be Team Jesus, Team Judas, or Team Mary? Or will you just sing all the parts? That’s allowed.” A big portion of each ticket sale will go towards your favorite mutual aid project, the Sunnyside Shower Project. Doors open at 6:30 p.m. and the singing will begin at 7:30 p.m. See here for tickets, which are $30 each: lowbarchorale.com.

Quad Leader needed!

We are looking for a new Quad Leader for the area bordered by Stark, Belmont, 28th, and 39th (or someone who is willing to deliver bundles in this area). As a quad leader, you receive a box of these newsletters each month. Your job is to count out bundles of them to distribute to the dozen or so delivery volunteers who, in turn, deliver them to every home in the designated area. Contact Carrie ([email protected]) for more information.

Mindful Media Tech Tip

My family loved the Sunday Parkways so much that every year we’d try to do all of them. As the years went by, I started to notice that our day-long bike rides—and even our family time at home—were getting interrupted by phones. Now that we carry around a device that allows us to bank, buy cat food, check our work email, get the latest news, and stay in touch with friends all over the world, it’s no surprise that constant productivity and connectedness is distracting. Checking our phone instead of being fully present with the people in front of us today is so common that there’s even a term for it—“Phubbing” (a combination of “phone” and “snubbing”). 

Obviously, leaving phones at home or completely off during family time is a great option. But years ago, when I talked to my husband about minimizing phone interruptions during family time, he pointed out that he was running a business with employees that might need to reach him. He also had an elderly dad who was living alone and who might have an emergency. As nice as it sounds, for many of us being unreachable for six hours (or even two hours) is not an option.

When we can’t fully disconnect, how can we still give the people around us the attention they deserve, and be fully present for the moments that matter? Eventually, my family worked out a compromise that really works, and I invite you to try it too!

This month’s Mindful Media Tech Tip is called Real Life Live For 55. The basic idea is that phones are put away for 55 minutes of every hour. Here’s how it works: Before leaving on a family outing, one person collects everyone’s phone and stores them (ringers off) in a purse or backpack. Your family gets to enjoy 55 minutes of fun and connection with everyone fully present and undistracted. After 55 minutes, anyone who wants to can check their phone, for five minutes only. When five minutes are up, the phones are stored away for another 55 minutes and the pattern repeats every hour.

The first few times you try this, it can feel a little clunky and overly scripted, but here’s what I’ve found: five minutes of  intentional phone checking every 55 minutes is a small price to pay for almost an hour of undistracted presence. Without a plan for intentional phone use, people tend to get pulled away by their phones randomly (and more frequently). No sooner has one person pocketed their phone and rejoined the conversation then someone else gets a text and drops out. With the average person checking their phone 186 times a day (or every five minutes of waking hours), it’s easy to wind up in a state of “continuous partial attention.”

Here’s why Real Life Live For 55 is an easy solution:

• For many people, it’s more realistic than completely disconnecting for several hours.

• Having only five minutes to check requires people to prioritize what’s
actually important, and leave everything else until later.

• For folks who have a harder time parting with their phone, knowing they
can check-in once an hour makes it easier for them to put it down for a while.

• It’s a workable compromise between family members who want everyone to fully disconnect, and family members who prefer to stay connected to their devices.

Great times to try Real Life Live For 55:

• Family time, in or out of the house
• At grandma’s house
• Date nights
• Spending time with the kids but still feeling pressure to get things done

Real Life Live For 55 isn’t just for families with kids. It’s a great option for couples, friends, co-workers, or any group of people that wants to create more time together undistracted by the constant pinging of our phones.

For more healthy screen time tips for families, go to the Printouts page of my website: mindful-media.net.

News From Sunnyside Environmental School (SES)

As the evenings begin to get longer and the bulbs start to poke their heads out, the feeling of false spring is high on the mind. Is spring really here? Or will we get a last winter hurrah–a cozy little snow storm to remind us that the Northwest still is the NORTHwest? Either way, there are so many wonderful things happening in Portland and in the Sunnyside neighborhood that neither will disappoint. Our “weirdly awesome” celebrity leader of the February Bike bus was none other than the Portland Unipiper. The students were dishing up the tea with excitement to see such a fun Portland icon at the school for Keep Portland Weird day. The Read-A-Thon was a great success thanks to our amazing community. For March there is more fun to come.

Flags in Antarctica

One of the amazing things about SES is that the different projects our students take part in have real world reaches and always go a step beyond the classroom. This year, fifth grade students researched the Adelie Penguin Colony in Cape Royds, Antarctica. As a culmination of their project, each class created a flag to send to the researchers in Cape Royds. Their flags are flying at the bottom of the world for the penguins and researchers to enjoy. I imagine this fifth grade cohort will always remember this project and it will have an impact on their future selves.

March 5th Dine Out for SES

Tired of cooking? Head to Gorges Beer Co. (2724 SE Ankeny St.) on Thursday, March 5th from 5-8 p.m. to fill your belly with delightful brew pub fair and a nice brew to go along with it. 20% of sales will go to SES. I can’t think of an easier or yummier way to support the school! You can check out the menu at www.gorgesbeer.com/foodmenupdx.

March 13th and 14th SES Original Musical with Mo Phillips

Mo and his cast of 2-5th graders are working hard preparing a whimsical evening full of adventure, music and laughs. The middle school crew is also hard at word helping with the set, costumes and direction. As of yet the title and theme are a mystery, but a little birdy told me that the script includes a librarian and a pickle. Sounds like a must see! Performances will take place on Friday, March 13 at 6:30 p.m. and Saturday, March 14 at 4:00 p.m. & 6:30 p.m. Keep an eye on the SES Instagram page (@ses_ptsa) for more details.

March 17th and 19th SES Mini Classes

Every March the Sunnyside community gets together to share their knowledge with SES middle school students by offering Mini Classes. Caretakers, guardians, and community members volunteer to come to the school and teach middle school students about something they specialize in or are experts about. Prior classes have included: cooking, sign language, computer programming, D&D, how to start your own business, trail running and much more. The classes last for two days (three hours each). Mini classes give middle school students the opportunity to learn about something new or expand their knowledge in an area they are passionate about. Students walk away with enrichment that reaches beyond the classroom.

Do you have an idea for a Mini class? You can submit a form at bit.ly/SES-MiniClass-2026. Forms are due March 1st, so this is cutting things tight, but it never hurts to check in and see if there is still room for another fun class to throw in the mix!

Have questions about SES? Email [email protected] and maybe I’ll answer them in a future column!